Good Morning, Friends...
Yeah...still waiting on all that summer fun stuff to show up. Sorry about being gone so long. I've gotten a few things done...two quilt tops (still working on the last one). Doctor appointments...babysitting the great grands, funeral arrangements...etc., life again. You know what I'm talking about.
Hope you all are clicking along just fine! Staying healthy!
Sloane (top) and Lottie spent some evening hours here on Monday...Boy, I'm not 25 anymore! But when you're needed...you crawl! lol
Larry finished up on a project for our daughter. She loves it...
Okay now...don't get all jickey on me, this is just true life! And it's got to be done! And it isn't cheap! So be prepared.
We got all our "after life" arrangements taken care of yesterday. We'd been planning and saving towards it, for years.
It was time.
We absolutely refused to put our daughter through the Hell, that preparing one's parent to meet the Sweet Beyond, entails! Larry and I both had to make one of our parents each, preparations. Me...my Dad and Larry...his Dad. They, neither one, had made FULL preparations for their spouses. As in... going to the funeral home and paying for BOTH parents to be buried or cremated. Larry and I decided long ago that was Not going to happen to our child. We also have a son who lives in Oklahoma, but he hardly ever calls or visits so the hardship would land on our daughter's shoulders.
Our son... years ago (long story but don't worry...some of us truly understand and some won't get it) ... got into the horror of the drug world. My parents...and don't get me wrong...I love them both, dearly but...they thought it was a great idea to go against our wishes and rules and give him anything he wanted. It didn't take long for him to figure out he had a golden ticket...so a wonderful child at 13 turned into an addict by age 16. Bad went to worse and after many, many years of trying to get him help... we had to stop. He and his cohort wife had almost drained my parents of all their money (thousands) before I found out and put a stop to it. Please understand how much this tore us up...we loved him...still do... but it's a different kind of love now. Drugs will rip a family to the ground...
He and wife finally divorced...he left and moved away...instead of staying here and letting family help him work through his problems...without "the bank" being open...and since there would no longer be a source of easy money...he moved to begin again. He does seem to be doing okay...he has a common law wife, a trailer...a job and a bad Thyroid...(now on meds for it...and had to have a heart ablation (treatment for irregular heartbeats). And apparently, no drugs for several years now. The medical stuff scared him... All good. But expecting him to be in charge of taking care of our final arrangements? I don't think so, sadly.
SO... It's all done. All Crystal has to do is show up at the funeral home...listen to our pastor...visit with friends...then...go home. No long dragged-out, heart-breaking funerals for us. These funerals that go on and on for days is too sad for words; neither of us want that for her.
Now the price for cremation? Hold on to your pants and wallet...
The headstone for us both: $5725.20
Plots in Cemetery (owned for years): 2 for $800
Cremation: $12,366.00 (both)
(and that's the Basic plan!)
Includes: Basic services: a) Celebration of life at the funeral home's chapel: $2270
b) Refrigeration Fee: $300 (like a hotel! $100 a night!
c) Transport from home or hospital: $425
Wooden Container for ashes: $195
Clothing: $195
Acknowledgement Cards and guest book: $100
Cemetery Opening & Closing Fee: $650
Crematory Fees: $350
Clergy Honorarium Fee: $200
Death Certificates (10): $73
Flowers for Urn Table: $250
Robinson Cemetery Fee: $300
Death Date Lettering on stone: $175
And you thought cremation was cheaper? Well, it IS ! Funerals these days here in Texas are high, almost double a cremation fee.... everyone wants their "cut".
SO... Prepare! If you've been putting things off, Stop It !!! Get your Wills done! Your children don't have money to spend on your final arrangements... and know that if they do have to pay for it (until, hopefully, your insurance comes through)... they'll have to charge it! Funeral homes want their money Now...not later...there's no payment plans here!
We had always planned on granite...last forever and beyond. There's cheaper stones...depends on what you want. We choose this one with different things engraved on it like, a hummingbird at a rose...left upper corner..A heart with a Cross in the middle... upper right corner...Our date of marriage in the middle moving the praying hands to the left, STAAS at the very top. You KNOW you wanted to know all this...Lololol
Oh, lighten up...We are so glad to have this burden lifted from our shoulders and Crystal's!
Please...don't put things off. I couldn't bear Crystal losing her last parent and still having to take care of all the prep work and expense!
No thank you...
I think it's pretty...and we found out that if you order a two-piece stone (top and base), and the mason doesn't silicone them together...water can get under the top stone and with just a shove, the top stone can warbel off onto the ground so...make sure someone looks at the seal!
I ordered a stone flower vase to be added to the right-hand side of the headstone. They just move the top stone over to the left and place the vase.
Sad news now...Our daughter's furrbaby, Sophie, 14, has developed diabetes. Normal level is around 140...hers was over 600. They've been trying everything to get her stabilized but it's not working. They have made the decision...today at 10...please say a prayer for Sophies safe and sweet crossing over the rainbow bridge...so sad.
This makes a fun Chafel...One egg and 1/2 cup shredded cheese. Really good for locarb!!
Larry made meatloaf yesterday! Very good!
I made Crockpot French Onion Chicken...
4 chicken thighs
1 can Campbells French Onion Soup
1 small chopped onion
1 package dry Lipton Onion Soup Mix
Cook 6 hours on high
Longhorn Steakhouse, I had the Strawberry and grilled chicken Salad...yum...and Larry had the Taco Soup with chicken nuggets.
And then, one day, we both just had a sweet potato each! They are filling and so good!
Well sweet friends, I hope I didn't upset anyone with facing end of life with such "out there" descriptions! Things just have to be finished...and that includes EOL preparations. Think of your children and don't keep putting things off... that also includes things in the house! If they don't want your things and you know they don't want much...personal items maybe...start dumping and decluttering! Do a little every day. Tell the kids that whatever they don't want, to call an Estate Realtor and sell what they don't want. We did that with Larry's Dad's house...SO wonderful to Not have to do it ourselves! And we made about a thousand dollars, to boot! No worry's, no back breaking hauling...we Done!
So... that's it for me this time...lol...Enjoy your day...stay healthy, love each other.
Hopefully...See you next time...
hugs
Donna
PS- New project on my sewing blog...
20 comments:
Sorry about your son. Family dynamics are hard and good intentions can lead to bad results. As for making arrangements, I think of that too.
So sorry about your son, it is hard as a parent to see such things happening to our children. We have stuff in order I think...we have mainly focused on our will and estate but I am working on a book that has all our online "stuff" in it and not using anything with facial recognition. I hear that is a nightmare after someone dies:( We will most likely pre pay our funeral expenses also...however things are much cheaper here in Minnesota. Our plot was $100 a number of years ago:)
EOL arrangements are so important. Glad you got yours done. We did all of our things a few years ago with our older son as the main person. Both sons know our wishes and are good with it. Its hard but when the "deed is done" there is such a feeling of relief. Its all going to be simple as in preparations,
Great post today Donna, You made me giggle with your description of caring for your grands and the idea of "when you're needed ... you crawl...I remember those days. You also cracked me up with the picture of looking in the mirror. I laughed because that's the conversation I had with myself yesterday !!!!
Sue
I'm sorry about your son. Kids can bring great joy and great sorrow.
Little Sloane is looking so much older!
Good thing to share today. That end of life stuff needs to be done, we've talked about it but have to buckle down and do it!
I am making slow progress on "end of life" decisions. Mostly still in the cleaning out stage. I've got a huge list of things that have to be done and PODs, revokable trusts are at the top. I am so sorry about your son, but I totally understand the decision of putting your daughter in charge. That strawberry and chicken salad looks YUM! Have a great week!
Having the end of life decisions done and sorted must be a great relief. I like the table that Larry finished for your daughter, it's a beauty. Your grands are growing up fast, it seems everything moves at an accelerated rate these days. Have a wonderful rest of the week.
Oh Donna I did not know any of this about your son. I hope he has the wherewithal to go the rest of the way without going back to the drugs. I agree that end of life decisions must be made now. xoxo
Sorry about your son. Mine also issues with drugs and alcohol. While I was doing the tough love thing his father suddenly decided he qould be the good dad. Gave him way too much. Thankfully he has turned his life around and lives close. Our relationship is nothing like it used to be but at least we do speak now
Sorry to hear about your son. You did the right thing preparing for your eol decisions. Here in Michigan cremation is expensive too. The table Larry made is just wonderful! Janice
I am so sorry about your son. And after my father passed, my mom asked my husband and me to help her make her arrangements. It was hard at the time, but when she passed, we were glad to know that her wishes would be completed. Hugs!
Wow! You certainly did get everything organized for "afterwards". I'm glad we also have done as much as we can at this point.
I'm so sorry for the pain you've had to endure seeing your dear son get into the drug life. Thankfully he seems to be doing better.
Sorry also for your daughter's sadness on losing her precious furbaby.
I don't suppose you've learned any more about how Dori is doing. I wish I had an address where I could at least send a Get well card.
So sorry to read about your son but it seems by what you wrote he is on the straight and narrow and that's a blessing. A second chance he has had.
The little ones are growing like mushrooms and look lovely in the photos of them. I like that table Larry made, looks good.
Funerals, well when my parents passed they had money to pay for their funerals, no bother to me as I found closer in choosing the coffin and getting all those things done as in closing bank accounts, lawyer etc. It's important to have the money to pay for your own funerals then the children do not have to be concerned about that.
Take care.
Nobody seems to know anything about how Dori is doing! I guess it’ll just be a waiting game…😒💕
I think it is wise of you to have this taken care of ahead of time. Well done, you! love the bench your hubby made. You are a talented couple.
I trust Sophie has a gentle journey over the rainbow bridge.
Good on you for handling the final arrangements. That's a heck of a lot.
We're donating our bodies to science, so unless there's a glitch somewhere...done and done.
That price list regarding death arrangements is obscene, folks ought to be able to die for free...before too long we'll all be charged for the air we breathe.
Donna, you and Larry are so wise! Thank you for being the courageous one to share this information with your readers. We feel the same way concerning what we don't want to leave behind for our kids to deal with. And, while I have not experienced the heartache that you have with your son and his drug addictions in his earlier life, I can relate because of a brother who had the same problem. Like your son, some medical issues scared him into changing his habits but it's sad to think of how much of his life he wasted.
The food all looks yummy!
Donna you are a very wise and loving mother as well as your dear hubby deciding to take care of all your end of life arrangements. It may not be something one enjoys doing but when it is all arranged it must bring a sense of peace knowing everything is taken care of and won't be a burden for those left behind. Not having children...hubby and I think we will be cremated...I really don't think I would have a tombstone either...instead I'd like my ashes cast on a favorite spot on our property where I have taken so many walks. Of course that will depend on if I am still living there by the time I go from this life to heaven's portals . Thanks too for sharing about your son...it sounds like you have had some tough things to deal with in the past. Take care - Hugs!
We got our affairs in order after my in-laws passed. They made it so easy for everyone. I'm sorry to read about your son, but I think you did what was best. It's tough love and self preservation. Giving him more wasn't going to help him. I can't believe how grown up Sloane is!! She isn't a baby any more! Stay cool, friend.
Donna, first of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your son's story. It's good to know he is doing Ok now. Well, I've started with the going through things and giving away, and I'm starting to give all of my children's stuff to them, old papers, school certificates,, home items, etc. I've heard of kids having to go through their parents' stuff when they have an excessive amount of things, and it's hard on the kids, so I'm doing that now. It will be easier on them, cause I don't have a great amount. I'm a sweet potato lover, and your sweet potato looks delicious. Your crockpot French onion chicken looks really good too. Oh, and I love the "old age comes suddenly, like snow" quote. And lastly, Larry did a great job on that little table, so charming. Hello little Lottie and Sloane.
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