Monday, November 24, 2008

Bored Husbands.....

Bored Husband.......
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping BORING and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women; she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to BAN both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

#1 June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

#2 July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

#3 July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

#4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ... "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

#5 August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

#6 August 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

#7 August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

#8 August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

#9 September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

#10 September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

#11 October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

#12 October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

#13 October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

#14 October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!" And last, but not least.

#15 October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
(taken from an email)
Hahaaa....Happy Monday Everyone!


Anonymous said...

That was very funny!!!!!

Donna said...

Jenn-Hahaa...glad you liked it Sweetie!!hughugs

Anvilcloud said...

Fortunately, my wife dislikes WM even more than I. However, there are many shops that she really likes.

Amanda said...

Love it Donna :-D

A Bite of Country Cupcakes said...

That really put a smile on my dial!

Anonymous said...

Best I have read in awhile LOL

Brenda said...

I've seen this before and it's Still funny! I think I've seen that man too! Ha!

Tabitha said...

I am going to have to ban the drinking of beverages of any kind when I visit your blog ~ as I keep laughing so much I keep nearly choking and then spraying the laptop with coffee tee hee!!!!!!

That is absolutely hilarious ~ love all of it ~ but the last bit was the best!!

Thanks for the laugh!
love and hugs Tabitha XXXXX

JunieRose2005 said...


Very funny !

I was in Wal-Mart today...I may have seen that guy! For sure, I DID see a lot of bored-looking men! ;)


Dawn said...

OMG !! That was so funny !! I have been peeing my pants. That is not suppose to happen in public!! heheheh


Rosie said...

LMAO oh my that is Sooooo funny and I've giggled away here :D

Hahahahaha #12 October madonna look .......

Hugshugs sweetie ~ Rosie xoxox

Brit. (lille meg) said...

I must say like the others here, this was really fun! Thank you for posting.
I am glad you found my awardblog, you can do what you like. I make a post there each time I get an award.
On my first blog I blog everything and nothing.
I am also glad that my new blog now is not a spamblog more.
My PC is now cleaned for viruses.

Jeanne said...

LOL that's great! Thanks for sharing DOnna. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Unknown said...

I've not seen this one Donna but it cracked me up! LOL

Gordon said...

LOL. That's really funny.

Jeanette said...

That was very funny! Thanks for adding laughter to my morning!

Donna said...

Thanks Guys!! Happy day to you all!!!hughugs