Friday, September 12, 2008

Ike....On It's Way....and Some Truth from my MIL...

Hi Everyone! Well, Ike's almost here...They say it's going to be a Booger storm. Hubby's out right now loading up on propane. I'm just hoping it's not bad. We've had Tons of evacuees coming through town. All the hotels seem to be filled. I stopped this morning at 6:00am to fill up my jeep and as I was driving off, the attendant put up signs saying they were now out of plus gas....geez. I don't think Waco is suppose to get it too bad...but Galveston and Houston are Really the worrisome trouble spots. Just say a prayer for us...I'll keep ya'll updated as long as I have a connection to the Internet. Ya'll enjoy your weekend and I'll talk at 'cha later...

This was in an email from my Mother in law....Hahaaaaa...... Had to come back and add it!

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat cover s' (invented by some one's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.' In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.' To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN<> there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT . It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you ha d taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.' By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.' As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?' This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold t he door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door! This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

Night All.......................


Dawn said...

I have been watching the weather channel and had to see if you are in the path of Ike. Looks like you will be safe. I will say prayers for you, hubby, Crystal, her kiddos, and Mr. T.

Please be safe. Love you, sweetie.

jenn said...

BE SAFE!!!!! Love you guys!!!!

Eve said...

Prayers all around for all those in the path. We are getting tornado watches and a lot of flooding even over here in MS.

Anvilcloud said...

Been thinking about you. Hope Texas is in good shape for this.

Amanda said...

I hope you will all be alright and the hurricaine doesn't cause to much damage.
I love the toilet story! Too true:)
Amanda x

A Bite of Country Cupcakes said...

Oh Donna...This waiting and a watching must be nerve shattering....Even here in Oz I keep checkin' up on you...Stay safe my lovely Blog Buddy.

That toilet story nearly made me wet my pants...Love toilet humour and thatwas a cracker!!!

Stay safe and hopefully connected,Will be thinking of you

Gordon said...

Thinking of you all; It is a worrying time for you at this time of year with all that wild weather about. Keep safe.

Thanks for your recent comments on my site; I didn't respond to you last week as I was away on a cycling/camping trip. I had my laptop, but my wireless internet connection was slow and I had to conserve power.

Tabitha said...

I pray that you will all be ok over there ~ thinking of you!!

That toilet story is soooo funny ~ thank you for making me laugh.
love and big hugs XXXX

Brenda said...

You could still get a lot of rain and some wind, couldn't you? Stay safe down there! I've been watching Ike's track and it looks like it just might miss eastern Arkansas, I hope so, they are so busy in the fields and don't need rain right now.

Jamie Dawn said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog


I hope Ike doesn't hit you too hard. I know he's a BIG storm. We live in Hot Springs, AR, so we will be getting some heavy rains from Ike. We are out of town though until Monday, so we will miss the worst of it.

I have taken "the stance" over many public toilets and had my legs start shaking. What an ordeal we ladies go through!!
I call all toilets that are not my own "foreign toilets."


Donna said...

Dawn- Thanks Sweetie!!hughugs

Jenn- We Will!!hughugs

Eve- Stay safe girl!!hughugs

Ac- Haaa...Never in Good enough shape!!hughugs

Amanda- Had to come back and add that!!hahaaa..hughugs

Cupcake- We've "batten down those hatches"!!hughugs

Gordon- Thanks Gordon..Knew you were out and about!!hughugs

Tabitha- Cute, isn't it!hahaa...hughugs

Brenda- It looks like it'll just miss you!! Maybe a little rain?? I pray not a lot...Stay safe sweetie!!hughugs

Donna said...

Jamie- Thanks Sweetie! Arkansas will certainly be getting some rain from this! Take care coming home!!hughugs

Dawn said...

I have seen that poem before... it just gets funnier. Be safe.


Jules said...

Take care!!! Hope it all blows over.

Your toilet story made me fall about laughing. I have thighs like steel because my mother made me squat over toilets as a child...can hold the position for days. It has come in handy here in PNG where clean toilets are an oxymoron!!!!

Anonymous said...

I am keeping everyone in the path of the hurricane in my prayers. I hope wveryone stays safe.

On a happier note, thanks for the laugh about public toilets. I actually did fall back on a wet toilet seat once. Had a gross feeling tusch for the rest of the night!!

Milly said...

God bless you all and keep you all safe.
I enjoyed the restroom story LOL

Brit. (lille meg) said...

I am praying for you.I am sure that the Lord will protect you.
I hope he'll protect the whole Texas as well.This terrible storm is mentioned even in the Norwegian media, and I guess all over the world.
You have to lock doors and windows, and stay inside the house.
Take care! God bless you!

nonizamboni said...

Watching and waiting and praying for all you Texans.
p.s. I nearly peed my pants reading about the 'rest'room!

Donna said...

Take care and be safe!

That is the funnies bathroom story! I think we can all relate!


Nita Jo said...

Oh my... that story made me laugh till tears came! My husband walked from the other end of the house to see what the hysterical laughing was all about! I needed a good laugh!

On a more serious note:

You, and all who are still in the path of the storm, are in my prayers!

Nita Jo

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Was watching the progress of Ike with you in mind - my only friend in Texas! Lovely loo story - only a woman could get it that right! M xx

Mary Lou said...

Dodged that bullet huh!! Thank goodness. And that email your MIL sent almost made me pee MY pants laughing. SO TRUE!!!!!