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Good morning, friends...
It's been another extraordinary week. I'll try to make this short...lolol...right...
Ruth Ann had her reversal surgery then Larry had his surgeries...gallbladder and bladder. I was running back and forth between the two rooms (same floor, thank God). Ruth Ann got to go home first...I drove her home, got her in the house, fed, watered...lol...and put to bed. She's able to do things on her own. Okay...The next day, I brought Larry home...fed, watered and put to bed...then back out to Ruth Ann's...I do the usual routines, picking up meds etc., then back home to Larry.
That afternoon, I get a feeling to call Ruth. An EMS worker answers the phone! "What? Who are you??, I say..
"Your sister has fallen and couldn't get up"..."we're taking her to the hospital!'
(she was trying to get up into her HUGE A$$ truck to drive to the friggin' bank...she has not been cleared to drive for another 3 weeks!!) She fell onto the ground.
I'm so upset with her here...she knew better than to try to get into that devil truck! But I'm keeping my mouth closed...you'd be proud of me...
Eight hours later, we're home. They found nothing broken. Just low potassium..... I install her onto the sofa (she didn't want to sleep in her bed) ...and then I get a phone call from her the next morning, saying she's fallen again in her living room...
I can't get her up...so her handy man is called, and he gets her back up into her chair...lots of moaning and a few dramatic screams...She's not really hurt by the fall, she rolled...somehow...onto the floor...her knee hurt too much to use her foot as leverage to get back up.
I look at her dead in the eye and say...enough. It's time for a rehab center...she has to get strong again, somehow. She agrees. (heat of the moment type, of agrees)
I spend ALL day Wednesday getting arrangements made... We have a dear neighbor that is a Nursing Home Administrator, and she did all the hard stuff for me (thank God for Tami ).
I then call Ruth Ann...What does she say?? "Nope, I'm not doing that...I will decide what I need..."
Friends, I am so tired...I love my family...I consider myself steadfast and loyal to a fault. But when she said that to me, something inside me broke...I simply and quietly answered her with, "Oh, you will be going...of that, I have no doubt or...as you have told me so many times, "it's your life and you'll be the one to make all the decisions...and I will wash my hands of it all. You'll need to find someone to come help you...I have my hands full with Larry."
( I have no immediate help here in town. Family lives almost 3 hours away)
Long hesitation...thinking about her chances of follow-through on my threat...
"Fine...fine...I'll go!'
It's the first time she didn't scream her words at me, in ages. She's a screamer when she thinks she's losing control and I try hard to keep that fact in mind. She has no friends...businesses are fed up with her treatment of them...she talks down to people. She's even managed to run my daughter off... I usually end up calling them and apologizing for her...
Oh...and as her agreeing to go to the rehab center for two weeks? She absolutely refuses...and I can't pick her up and put her in the car so...I simply and quietly tell her, "Okay". "You know what? You are absolutely correct...It is your life...so I'm going to butt out. You do what you think is right for you. I've been trying to help you for over a year now...and neglecting my home...life...You have a plan? Fine. Go for it. Get your hired help in and let them help you figure things out with you. I love you".
And that's how things stand right now. Oh, I'll still stop in and check on things but as to her decisions? They are all hers...I'm so done. When I'm so tired I don't even know what day it is...it's time to stop.
So... if you've stuck with me this far, I thank you for letting me vent...it's been one long year...
As for good news, Larry's on the mend...He gets up and walks...takes his medicine without griping, tells me he loves me...now he's in the kitchen doing his best to make us breakfast. If I see he can't do it, I'll intervene. He loves to cook.
Me and Ruth Ann...guess which is which...lolol
You can be crawling tired but if you know your grandchild needs something (planned the cake two months ago), you make it happen.
And I did...
Side note here! I bought this at Walmart! I love it !!! It works and the smell is yummy! Just like a fresh baked cookie! No GMO garbage in it either...
And what's a post without my Sloaneygirl in it? She's the one in the maroon onesie...blurry. They are about to have snack time in the classroom. They are doing all types of things...I'm so happy the grandkids are able to afford this for her! Aren't they all so precious?
Our Sloaneygirl...styling.
Well, that's about it for me this week. I'm sorry about the length of the post! I know we all don't have time to read through novels...so...I'll end it here.
Until next time...
29 comments:
Oh, Donna! You sure have your hands full. It is so awful to take care of someone that is not appreciative. As hard as it is, you need to stick to your guns and make her bear the results of her choices. You have gone above and beyond what most people would do. However, I know the goodness of your heart has won out and that you have done more than your share for a long time.
Glad hubby is improving. That's a hard surgery, too! He needs to be your primary concern, I think.
Love the cake-yes-we do what we do when our grands call, don't we? Nothing in the world like loving a grandchild. And that sweet baby is adorable. Love the big bow on her head. When my grandgirls went to school they were called the "girls with the bows". I made probably hundreds of bows over the years my three grandgirls were in elementary school--including bows for their friends. Kinda miss those days sometimes.
Take good care of YOU, Donna, because you have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of others. Love to you- Diana
Oh my dear sweet Donna. I got there rated, exhausted, and worn out just thinking of what you've been through. Take care of yourself. Love you!
Dear Donna. I know what you are going through I had the same problems with my mother. She was very difficult and I was so stressed that I ended in hospital with heart problems I was so stressed and so tired. My daughter could managed with her and I had to give up for my own health and she decided herself what to do. I am glad that Larry feels better and glad to see Sloane with her friends. You cake is just fabulous!
My heart goes out to you Donna, sometimes we just have to take a step back and say enough is enough (I understand, I've had to do it myself with problem family members). And then we kill ourselves with the guilty thoughts. The cake looks fabulous, and of course Sloane does too. I hope Larry gets well aided by your loving care very soon. He's your priority, as you know. Take good care of yourself too, Donna.
Bless you, Donna! What does a lady do after such a week? Make a gorgeous cake, of course! Take a deep breath! Yeah, I'm tired of stuff making me stronger too! LOL! Hugs to you. x
It's sad when someone doesn't appreciate the help you offer them. I would let it go and move on. She'll have to learn the hard way. Anyway, take care of yourself. Hope Larry is doing better and getting more of his energy back. Take care!
Phew, what a week you've had Donna! I can't believe how stubborn your sister is. You must have the patience of a saint to put up with all that!
I'm glad to hear Larry's on the mend, though! Surely that is your priority right now.
I had a good chuckle at the cookie dough joke, and how absolutely delicious does that cake look! xxx
Oh my gosh buddy! You must have the patience of a saint to have dealt with your sister for this long! You are such a loving person but you have to take care of yourself and all that stress with her is not good for you! Glad Larry is doing good, what a sweetie he is! Love little styling Sloane! That cake looks delicious and beautiful!
Oh Donna, I'm speechless....I will make this short, as you don't have time to be listening to me! Just know that I was feeling every emotion you shared as I lived your blog with you!!! Yikes, only the Lord could hold you together through all that!!!
Hugs and prayers for a slower week...month....year!!!!!
Oh no, Donna. Hope your husband recovers fast after the surgery. And Ruth! She has to get better. Lots of positive vibes coming your way.
Yikes. What a horrible situation to be in with Ruth. It's a no-win situation, I'm afraid. At some point, you have to put YOUR health, YOUR family, and YOU first. Especially if she is so rude about it all. It's hard to do, but at some point you have to walk away from the train wreck. You certainly aren't going to change it. I will pray for you, that you have the strength to make the right decisions for you and your family...GUILT FREE. Even if that means that Ruth is on her own with her own self-created problems. ((hugs)) friend. I know you need them right about now.
Oh, I'm so sorry you are dealing with all that you are. It is never easy. Praying for wisdom and relief for you and speedy healing for the others.
Grace & Peace,
Pam
Dear Donna, you give all your love and energy for your great family. I'm sorry, that Ruth Ann is so difficult to organize. I think only you can organize her, and she knows, too. But she is too much frustrated and so she is "not so nice" to you. This is not good and I don't know how to solve this problem. I think your focus has to look at Larry and Sloane and all the lights, who appreciate you and your style! Holy souls often have the most to carry, like Jesus the cross. The Lord will help you, and He really does not want, that you do more than possible and more than you can do with good feelings. Stay always on the sunny side of the street! Many greetings to good Larry! Good, tat he is at home now! Compliment to your loving cake!
You've got way too much on your plate. I imagine it wasn't easy but I think you made the right decision with your sister. You can only do so much. I'm glad to hear that Larry is at least being a good patient :)
You need to try and take a little time for yourself.
Liebe Donna, du schenkst deiner großartigen Familie all deine Liebe und Energie. Es tut mir leid, dass Ruth Ann so schwer zu organisieren ist. Ich denke, nur du kannst sie organisieren, und sie weiß es auch. Aber sie ist zu sehr frustriert und daher „nicht so nett“ zu dir. Das ist nicht gut und ich weiß nicht, wie ich dieses Problem lösen kann. Ich denke, Dein Fokus muss auf Larry und Sloane und all die Lichter gerichtet sein, die dich und deinen Stil schätzen! Heilige Seelen haben oft das meiste zu tragen, so wie Jesus das Kreuz. Der Herr wird dir helfen, und Er möchte wirklich nicht, dass du mehr tust, als möglich ist und mehr tust, als du mit guten Gefühlen tun kannst. Bleib immer auf der Sonnenseite der Straße! Viele Grüße an den guten Larry! Gut, dass er jetzt zu Hause ist! Kompliment an deinen liebevollen Kuchen!
You go girl! That's called tough love and it was needed. I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that.
The cake is gorgeous! And I know we will do anything for our grands.
Sloane is the best medicine!
oh Donna, this sounds like quite a challenging season for your family. may this weekend offer you rest and hope.
So pleased your husband has improved he can manage to cook breakfast, well nearly it seems.
I understand your tiredness, you must also be rather stressed at what has happened this year - you sister being rather stubborn, but I'm proud of you Donna, you dug your heals in and gave her a good telling off so to speak.
Look after yourself - and grandchildren are a delight, they make us smile.
Keeping you in prayer...I wish I could give you a hug my friend.
I know it was a hard decision, but Ruth Ann will either succeed following her own difficult path or realize she needs to cooperate with you and others to regain her health. Prayers for strength and peace as you navigate the days ahead.
You're a saint, Donna. At some point you need a good long dose of 'me time'.
Hugs,
Stay strong Donna
"What everyone else has said"
I truly believe you have made the best decision for YOU !!
Your health and well being are at the top of the list, as is Larry and his recovery.
Praying for you and your Sis too, that she will be able to make her own decisions and heal too.
Your precious Sloane and that gorgeous cake are perfect therapy.
(((hugs)))
Sue
Good luck with the patchwork! I did some but gave up 😂!
Oh my word Donna, you certainly have been through the ringer! I hope Ruth Ann will listen and I’m glad that you told her what she must do.
Your Italian cream cake is stunning and so thoughtful of you. Your Sloane is adorable and growing too fast!
Blessings and hugs to you this week and I hope you get some me time.
You are an angel for your family Donna! I wish hubby and sister a speedy recovery. Definitely the right decision with your sister. She is miserable and directs her anger accordingly. A good dose of tough love needs to be sprinkled liberally, especially with those who will not see the wood for the trees. Please take good care of yourself too. The weight on the shoulders of our Angel caregivers can be very heavy. Sloan, ever adorable! The cake looks incredible.
What a saga. I'm just glad that Larry is doing so much better. That is an answer to prayer. That cake is just one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Take care, Donna. Happy November! xoxo
That cake looks divine.
I hope today is a good one for you.
Hugs,
Not an easy decision but I think the right decision with regard to your sister.
I am just so pleased that Larry is on the mend, yippee!
Sending lots of good wishes.
All the best Jan
PS As always I did enjoy the photographs of Sloane.
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